I’ve always been of the opinion that the McGriddle is the unhealthiest thing known to man, beating out the previous champion “Asbestos-laced Pork Lard Covered In Hollandaise Sauce” immediately upon its debut in 2003. Sure, Burger King made a valiant effort to seize the crown of artery-clogging calorie king by introducing the Meatnormous Omelet Sandwich, but not even meat on top of meat on top of meat covered in cheese was enough to budge the syrup-soaked McGriddle from its meaty perch.
Little did I know that for centuries, our friends across the pond have been enjoying a tasty treat that makes the McGriddle look like a house salad - The Scotch Egg. Thank god that Barry from The Futureheads’ turned me on to this belly bomber, or everything I thought I knew about nutrition would still be a lie.
“>
By the way, if you’re wondering just what a Scotch Egg looks like, take a gander:
Jesus! Those Brits don’t fuck around, man. As if greasy sausage meat wrapped around a boiled egg weren’t unhealthy enough, they had to go and DEEP FRY the fucker just for good measure. I bet the guy who invented this
a) Died of cardiac arrest
b) Is kicking himself in the ass for not having the insight to cover this in gravy
What boggles my mind is that Barry admits to eating eating all the time, yet look at him, he’s the picture of health! How does he stay so svelt eating deep-fried sausage coated eggs? I must get his personal trainer’s phone number!







