Promoter Todd P has joined forces with fellow promoters Yo Garage to create a new all-ages festival in Monterrey, Mexico after SXSW. Andrew W.K., Telepathe, Dan Deacon, Pictureplane, No Age, Toro Y Moi, Das Racist, Fucked Up, Los Fancy Free, Quiero Club and more are confirmed for the event March 20-22. Seventy-five American, Mexican and international bands are slated to play two stages at the Autocinema Las Torres.

Tickets are $30 for the three-day pass and available via PayPal. Lodging and camping options are available on the promoters’ respective websites, as well as international travel information. A passport or passport card is required to enter Mexico. Discount shuttle buses will run three times daily from SXSW.

Aside from fawning groupies, no strings-sex and living out your rock ‘n’ roll fantasy, for musicians (especially the ones we like), life on the road can be a bitch on wheels.

No gold-plated buses outfitted with three-inch thick Persian rugs, a chef who can miraculously produce organic/macrobiotic/vegan/low-carb/non-fat/gluten-free/delicious deep-fried Twinkies wrapped in bacon at 3 a.m. or an indoor swimming pool equipped with a wave machine awaits bands like An Horse anytime soon.

Not that they’d be into that shit anyway, man.

For the record, merely being outfitted with a sweet per diem that pays more than their crap jobs at home and awesome motel towels makes them feel like royalty. They can actually afford to eat the kind of sustainable, green noshes their gigs at the failing local record store don’t quite fund. Their only rock-solid rock n’ roll requirement? Good coffee.

Oh, but regarding the whole sustainable food thang: While in theory An Horse is totally ready to eat nothing but produce grown by well-paid workers with health benefits and a 401(k), the rigors of the road often demand a McStop instead of a socially conscious nosh.

(Bonus: They do get to indulge in their other favorite social cause at these highway-side haunts–supporting prostitution. Score!)

The fifth annual Paid Dues tour will feature Ice Cube, Raekwon, Murs and 9th Wonder, Jay Electronica, Del, P.O.S, Tech N9NE, Dilated Peoples, Tha Dogg Pound and more. The lineup also boasts a reunion of all Freestyle Fellowship’s original members.

The event returns to the NOS Events Center April 3 in San Bernardino, Calif., and tickets go on sale to the general public this Saturday, February 6. A partnership between Murs and Guerilla Union (also host of Rock the Bells), Paid Dues took to the road and toured several U.S. cities last year.

Murs is excited to announce Paid Dues 2010!

PAID DUES FESTIVAL | MySpace Music Videos

Rumors circulated heavily earlier this week that Definitive Jux would cease operations, and founding producer/emcee El-P confirmed the independent hip-hop stalwart is folding–at least as a traditional record label. Since its formation in 2000, the label released albums from Aesop Rock, RJD2, Del, Dizzee Rascal and more.

“We are not closing, but we are changing,” wrote El-P in a statement on the Def Jux website. The producer will resign from his duties as artistic director to focus on a solo career. The label currently plans to release The King of Hearts from the recently deceased Camu Tao, a remix comp and a 10-year retrospective.

We’re willing to bet the artists on the roster know exactly where El-P’s coming from, especially Del.

Rock ‘n’ roll stars and industry honchos have nearly unfettered access to la dolce vita and all of its yummy accouterments. Considering the gaping maw of culinary requirements that exists between celebrities’ sundry dietary requirements, it’s terrifying to imagine WTF one would feed a room of 5,000 of these aggressively finicky eaters.

Levy, the company that caters the Staples Center–host of the 52nd annual Grammy Awards show last  Sunday–was given the task of feeding the gleaming, glittering hordes, in addition to catering to wacky whims backstage in a whopping 160 suites.

If Brit-Brit wants to dine on nothing but Starbucks and Moby will nosh on nothing but the finest organic, sustainably grown sprouts, then you can bet your last digi download their assistants were (and are) scrambling through the wilds of the Valley from the butt-crack of dawn to the lashing stroke of midnight to secure said comestibles.

So what was on the menu? According to blogdowntown, 500 pounds of artisanal (natch) cheeses, 400 pounds of short ribs, 300 pounds of shrimp, 200 pounds of live lobster, 200 pounds of ahi tuna, 60 pounds of Dungeness crab meat and a lion’s share of organic chicken and hormone-free lamb.

Unsurprisingly, Levy was totes hip to the locavore, responsibly sourced groove: “Every year we try to do more and more,” Gilbert Verdugo, Levy’s bossman, told blogdowntown. “It’s been an initiative with the music industry to go this route. We have to have traceability on all of our products.”

Oh, and just in case they didn’t get their fill during the awards, Wolfgang Puck catered the after-party.

Brooklyn shredders Goes Cube have a new limited edition 7-inch out today featuring the single “Property” b/w “The Ban Has Been Lifted.” Starting next month they’re heading out on a nationwide tour with East of the Wall, and they’re also set to play the Ear/Splitters (appropriate, no?) showcase at SXSW alongside  The Atlas Moth, Snake Sustaine, City of Ships, labelmates Hull, touring pals East of The Wall and more.

They’ve also finished recording the follow up to their debut full-length, Another Day Has Passed, though a release date has not been announced. Reviews described that album as “blistering,” “punishing” and “a metalhead’s wet dream.”

In an interview last fall, Brooklyn Vegan described the band in El-P/Co Flow terms–”independent as fuck”–and we like a world in which such a comparison can be made. UI will also be chatting with the band, so stay tuned for more.

Despite their best efforts, musicians can’t live without food, and it seems most chefs can’t live without music. So much so that some of the country’s top toques put music above goddess and family (Wylie Dufresne!) as their sources of inspiration. This has resulted in the some of the most sublime edible nectar available to mortals, as well as some…interesting items you may or may not want to actually put in your mouth. And some of which inspires me to want to simultaneously stick a fork in the food in front of me and another in my eardrums. For instance:

The Sweet Sound of Garlic Kicking My Ass…

and rendering me totally unfit for social interaction for two days. If aromatics are going to slap me around, the abuse is gonna come courtesy of the cornily (but appropriately) appellative Molto Mario. The maestro of all things aromatic, porcine and sauced, Mario Batali can’t cook sans music. His top picks are as unpredictable and awesomely odd as his culinary creations, from Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” to Tom Waits’ Swordfishtrombones.

Run Toward the Wafels, Away From the Music

OK, everyone hearts Wafels and Dinges and their sweet, crisp outer layers of butter goodness bursting with the molten-hot mashed potato, gooey wafel innards that want to make love to my tongue. Don’t get me started on the cornucopia of delectable dinges I can mount on top of the most delicious wad of carbs in America, but really people? Fifties music? Blaring from the truck at all hours of the day? This is what inspires you?

Freakishly Fugly Lady Gaga Cookies

The queen of quirk would most likely not approve of these portraits in confection (by an amateur baker) that resemble fat Cabbage Patch Dolls with bad hair and a ‘tude. Just. Sayin’.