Hey everyone,

I was trying to do a 6 degrees of seperation for LA bands. So far I came up with the following bands that have all played shows with one another, went to high school together or know eachother:

Phantom Planet, Maroon 5, Rooney, The Like, Big City Rock, Pete Yorn…

Please add more…I want to try and round out this scene….

Good morrow faithful UI (and Shark) fans! And what a beautifully fucking cold morrow it is. Seriously, I don’t mind it being balls-chillingly freezing like this if there’s snow falling, it’s kind of like a bitter compromise. But as anyone who lives in or near NYC can tell you, the last time we saw snow, Britney Spears had all of her hair and custody of both of her kids. This is getting ridiculous, no snow for the entire winter! I wish we could protest this or something. There’s an old saying that goes “complain as you may, in the end there’s nothing you can do about the weather.” Well I call shenanigans on this one. Three words: Weather Control Machine. I remember reading a while back that the Russians had developed a weather manipulator sometime during the Cold War (which makes sense, with the War being so, you know, Cold and all). Of course, around that same time I also remember reading that the stain on Gorbachev’s forehead, when pressed hard enough, would assemble and form Voltron, so what do I know?

Actually, I do know one thing, I absolutely kicked UI site proprieter, and my boss, Marisa’s ass yesterday at the NY Road Runner’s Manhattan Half Marathon in Central Park:

I know it’s probably not a smart thing to openly gloat about besting your boss on a blog she regularly checks, but after all the smack she was talking in the office about smoking yours truly, it’s gratifying to soak in this victory and definitively establish my awe-inspiring manliness for all of my coworkers and readers to lust over. This victory is especially sweet considering I ran the race with bad stomach cramps that took nearly 3 minutes off of my time around mile 10 (bathroom break). By the way, if anyone wants to challenge me again, there’s another half marathon coming up on Sunday February 10th in the Bronx, assuming I don’t get stabbed on the way there. Who’s game?

Alright, I’ve hijacked your attention for long enough today, so let’s talk about the piping hot goodies that your friends over at Uncensored Interview have for you this week. Aching for a cup of marshmallowy warm honesty this morning? Why not try our Poingly blend: refreshingly candid, bold, and opinionated, with no added bullshit:

Remember kiddies, never use your record label advance to buy tons of cocaine. Your grandmother’s inheritance, however, that’s a different story.

You’ve gotta check out some of the other Poingly clips we’ve posted this week. They’re pretty… well… “fucking out there” is how I’d best describe them, as you could imagine from a guy who wears a Lone Ranger mask and engages in heated arguments with his talking laptop.
Oh and I almost forgot! Our interview with The Fabulous Entourage has just been uploaded, and is chock full of nuggets of conventional wisdom such as “If your college dormmate won’t leave the room while you’re in bed with a girl, he just MIGHT be a voyeur.”

Maybe he just wanted to cuddle…

And remember, this friendship we’ve formed ain’t a one way street, folks, it’s a huge 4 lane avenue of love. So after you’ve checked out your favorite clips, fire up that webcam you bought to “iChat with my friends and totally not to cyber with random girls I met on Craig’s List” and create your own V-Sponse because, believe it or not, we actually WANT to hear what you have to say, unlike that Fillipino guy you met on Casual Encounters with the ball-gag fetish.

Urban outfitters and popular haircuts have ruined my life.

I used to be able to pick out the cool gals by the way they dressed, but ever since being “indie” became mainstream, it’s impossible to pick them out anymore.

I now find myself going for the more mainstream looking girls. Mainstream is the new indie.

And with that, I present to you 2 girls I find to be muy cute (where is the 3rd hiding?):

I hear David Byrne digs’em too….in a musical way, that is.

Go Au Revoir Simone!

There’s been entirely too much dick up in this joint so here I am, a little too late for the mojitos but too early to draw your mother’s face on the passed out fratboy’s ass.

I’m a foreign girl at heart and I’ve got a thing for men who don’t speak English, there’s nothing more romantic than realizing you’re wasted enough to actually understand exactly what they’re saying.

FOH kind of does that for me. I watched this several times and by the fifth shot of whiskey, I was all sorts of “Konichiwa!” and “Moshi Moshi!” to homeboy stroking his jaw profoundly. After half the bottle, my roommate walked in on me shouting “私は持っている性を飲まれたり、行こう!!!” to my computer. Thanks Uncensored Interview for teaching me that the key to international musician ass lies with my graceful handling of copious amounts of booze.

Speaking of booty, Anton Glamb got in on the action while seated on what appears to be a toilet.

My love for booty music is kind of a “watching from the sidelines because I’m white” type of thing but I have to respect a man who knows how to move. There’s an honesty to this interview that’s refreshing, it’s good to see how softly lit Glamb is with the candles in the background as he talks about his appreciation for all things old and dirty.

Does anyone remember that show “Stomp!”? Street Drum Corps are kind of like that, except they’re from LA, which means that mohawks, tattoos, men with contracts, and hookers have to somehow be involved.

I’d actually never heard of these guys before, but something about the way the dude in the middle looks slightly like a young Courtney from the magical Dandy Warhols made me google their myspace. That’s where I found a cover of “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”. After I played it, the US pulled out of Iraq, George Bush finally finished choking on his pretzels, Stephen Colbert became the front-runner for the 2008 Election, I gave up flashing dudes on highways, and all the angels wept fucking snowflakes. Thanks Street Drum Corps, for bringing a little LA magic in my life.

Hey there faithful readers, sorry for the late update, but yours truly spent the long weekend celebrating Martin Luther King Day in the most appropriate way – doubling down in Atlantic City. Truth be known, I would actually still be taking in all the breathtaking slums and blight of “Less Vegas” had it not been for a quirk in New Jersey State law. Apparently, a guy who’s had a few drinks and is having a good time is no longer welcome at the Craps tables at the Trump Marina. Oh yeah and some other crap about gambling bottomless with a loaded handgun in full view, whatever. The message is clear: NEW JERSEY HATES FUN (and also smog-free, non-infectious air). Anyway the point is, I’m back, I’m 200 bucks richer, and I’m fucking excited. You know why? Two big reasons, actually. First off, Au Revoir Simone on Uncensoredinterview.com. You might’ve heard their stuff on Grey’s Anatomy (unless you’re a MAN like me, in which case, you don’t even know what Grey’s Anatomy is, or why in the world George never told his mother about he and Callie’s divorce), but did you ever wonder if they’ve ever, you know, WATCHED Grey’s Anatomy?

And once you’ve had your fill of Williamsburg’s favorite estrogen-fueled electronic pop group, you can also check out our other big update this week – French New Wave Rockers Neimo.

Remember folks, this is just a taste of the awesome new content we’ve got for you this week, and the only way to get it all is to visit us right here, or here, or even here. Whatever works for you.

Before I go to count my winnings again, I had to mention this story that I found while slacking off at work this past week. Apparently, and I really wish I was fucking with you about this, John Oates, of seminal 80′s duo Hall & Oates, is developing a cartoon about his thick, gorgeous mustache having super powers. I’m actually speechless. This is either going to be the best or the absolute WORST cartoon in history. It will either be lauded and recognized at award shows the world over for its creativity and humor, or banned in most non-Christian nations. I’m hoping it becomes a big hit, because I have THE BEST idea to branch this baby out: Cloverfield 2: Monster Versus Mustache. That’s right, John Oates’ magnificent, erection arousing lip warmer taking on the 40 story tall, unstoppable destructive beast that destroyed the entire island of Manhattan. The fight of the century. Again, it has the chance to be either be the greatest action movie of all time, or the most painfully terrible images ever electronically dictated to film strip, even worse than Spider-Man 3. And of course, there’s gonna be a huge twist at the end, when the monster and the mustache finally face off in the cataclysmic battle for the fate of Earth – The Monster grows its own mustache!! Dun dun duh!!! But wait!!! Just when all seems lost, our superpowered mustache grows John Oates, and it just so happens that “Kicking Some Monster Ass” is on his list, right below “Your Kiss.” I won’t ruin the ending for you, you’ll have to go see it when it comes out. I’m shooting for a Christmas 2010 release.

As a bloodthirsty, dorsal-finned sea predator, your buddy The Shark isn’t one to normally elicit much emotion (unless of course, a boatload of fat, jolly pirates capsizes in my waters). However tonight, I’ve gotta admit, I’m pretty ecstatic after watching my favorite NFL team, The NY Giants, shove the chum right back into the Dallas Cowboys’ overconfident faces by whooping their asses in Texas. Go Big Blue! We share colors, what can I say? Hey, did you really expect me to root for a team from a fucking landlocked state? C’mon! I have a better chance of eating an Eskimo than I do a cowboy.

Hey, is anyone else as obsessed with this Weekend At Bernie’s check scam story as I am? In case you hadn’t heard (or you’re just too lazy to click the goddamn link and read for yourself), two cracked-out old dudes wheeled their friend’s corpse around midtown Manhattan in an office chair, pretending he was still alive, in order to cash his $300 Social Security check. I’ll be honest, I’m kind of jealous of these guys. I wish I had the balls to attempt a scheme based entirely around the plot of seminal 80′s necro-comedy Weekend At Bernie’s, starring the inimitable Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy.

What’s most shocking to me is that Andrew Silverman WASN’T involved in the scam. God knows that guy could use $300 right now. Or even $30. I mean, the only thing he’s been in since Weekend At Bernie’s is Weekend At Bernie’s II.

I think if this crazy affair turns into a made-for-TV-movie (don’t laugh, with the writer’s strike, it’s entirely possible), they should cast Andrew McCarthy as one of the leads:
A.Because he needs the work and
B.Because I think the amount of irony generated might literally destroy the entire universe.

Alright, enough jibber jabber for tonight, let me get to the meat (human – yum) and potatoes (ehhh) of the post – All of the crazy new shit we’ve got going on this week over at Uncensored Interview, like our new friends Oppenheimer, the best Northern Irish Indie Pop band this side of Belfast. Yeah, and they talk with those crazy thick Irish accents that make it hard for you to understand a single word that they’re saying, but you still nod your head anyway, just to be polite, and also so that they don’t stab you with half a beer bottle.

Apologies if this blog is both short and slightly unintelligible, but yours truly, the Shark, is in full recovery mode after partying with the out of control Uncensored Interview crew at their first annual Holiday Party at LOCATION NAME WITHHELD TO PREVENT POTENTIAL LAWSUIT FOR DAMAGES RENDERED TO ESTABLISHMENT in New York City. I know what you’re thinking, January 5th? Ain’t that a bit late for a holiday party? In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re a bit unconventional here at UI. Three words, people: Three. Kings. Day. a holiday invented back in the 30′s to commemorate both the end of Christmas season, and the start of pregaming for Martin Luther King Day. Instead of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, we came bearing the much easier to acquire, (and spell) Beer, Bourbon, and Sexual Advance Drunkenly Made on a Coworker Resulting in a Restraining Order and/or Deportation.

Now I know we constantly tout how “uncensored” and “unrestrained” we are on our website, but let me tell you, last night took things to a whole new level. Some of us woke up in another state this morning, and at least two of our interns are still missing . I got a postcard around noon today, and apparently, our beloved lawyer Kathleen is now a fully naturalized citizen of Mexico. And don’t even ask me what I did last night. After about the 6th or 7th glass of Knob Creek, I completely blanked out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in an alley with a shiny new prison tattoo, next to what appeared to be a cleanly sliced hand, which I of course high fived. Hey, don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same. By the way, if anyone knows exactly what “Rectal de Bandidos” translates to in English, my arm would greatly appreciate it. Anyway, I managed to find and upload a few pics from the now infamous Uncensored Interview Three King’s Party 2008 for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to jump on the UI bandwagon and throw your own Three King’s Day Party. In fact, why not head on over to UncensoredInterview.com, check out some extremely opinionated clips from your favorite indie rock artists, and then let us know via V-Sponse what you really thought of our party, and if possible, the location of our interns.

Darryl and Stab Wound from the local penitentiary show one of our UI staffers a bar trick they learned up in Sing-Sing.

Kevin showing off his “flaming Malibu” trick. Next up, the “flaming ceiling, walls, and deli next door” trick. Woah guys, look out!!!

I thought this was America!