So I’m really going to live up to my name in this post. I was watching this clip of the Shout Out Louds and had one of those Homer Simpson moments where you inadvertently catch yourself making food-lustful groaning noises and droaning, “Mmmm…donuts” with a warm stream of drool running down the side of your chin. But as I woke from my reverie, casually wiping my face with the back of my hand (classy, I know), I found myself a bit angry and indignant.
Is this not America? Are we not the fattest nation in the world? Why the hell don’t we have something like this? The Swedish have fica, the British have afternoon tea, so America should have its equivalent. I don’t know about everyone else, but this would work very well for me considering I need to feed approximately every two hours or so anyway. We should make the late day snack a legit American tradition for three reasons:
1. I hate having to make-up excuses just so I can have a damn cookie.
2. We all need the pick me up to get through the home stretch of the work day.
3. I’d like to be officially validated in my vice. At least I could be fat and happy and not fat and guilt-ridden. Besides, in spite of our better judgment, we all do it anyway. Truth. We are just that self-indulgent and greedy (I may be projecting…just a little).
Oh and incidentally, our neighbor to the south, Mexico, has become the second fattest nation in the world. How convenient. Haha. Fat kids of the world can unite with geographical convenience!
TOPICS: fatkidslovecake