You know those people who claim they read Playboy just for the articles? Yeah, well Dimitri From Paris just one-upped them by claiming that the best part about visiting the Playboy Mansion is the decor.
Yeah right, this is about as believable as Will from Senryu claiming that he only watches porn for the bloopers. C’mon Dimitri, admit it, I mean Hef’s a pretty classy guy, so the decor is probably really nice, but don’t tell me you didn’t spend copious amounts of time in the grotto staring at some tig ol’ bitties. You’re in a goddamn den of sin. THE goddamn den of sin, in fact, and you’re studying the artwork, statues, and drapery? I think not!
By the way, did you know that there’s a Playboy – The Mansion video game for Playstation 2? What the fuck can this game possibly be about? Do you guide Hef through the Mansion as he searches for his Viagra? Is there a party tonight and Vince Neil, Gary Busey, and Scott Baio have gone missing, so it’s up to you to rescue them? According to video game megasite IGN:
Developed by Cyberlore Studios, Playboy: The Mansion is an adult-oriented management sim that blends various tycoon and social simulation gameplay mechanics with the glamour and regalia associated with the world’s most famous men’s magazine. As Hugh Hefner, players must strategically create the content of the Playboy publication including images and articles, as they adjust to an ever-changing market on a road filled with riches and fame. To do so, users must build their fantasy mansion from grounds to grotto, throw parties, rub shoulders with VIPs, and live up to the free-minded Playboy lifestyle. You can even interact with your guests, setup interviews and photo-shoots, and partake in more intimate activities that we cannot even begin to describe here.
Some of those “intimate activities” that they cannot describe include having sex in the bedroom, having sex in the grotto in front of other people, having sex in the living room in front of other people, and Dance Dance Revolution. By the way, I’d just like to point this little observation out:
Apparently, sex in the living room is so boring that it puts people to sleep. Such is life in the wild, uninhibited Playboy Mansion.
By the way, I hear that if you beat the game without continuing, you unlock a special dance party hosted by DJ Dimitri From Paris himself
TOPICS: theshark