Did you ever notice how John Mayer only dates girls with J names? Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and, yours truly, Triumphantly, Jenny? Oh, you didn’t know? Yeah, I guess we kind of keep it on the downlow, JM and I. He never blogs about me. But do you think it’s intentionally self-aggrandizing to only date women whose name is the female form of your own? I mean, not that anyone would call Mayer arrogant. Oh wait, Ilana Donna does:
Whatever, Ilana, you can keep your hands off my man anyway. I am glad John is getting so much good press lately. I mean the NY Post has confirmed that his body is a wonderland, and let me tell you, they ain’t lying. Why do you guys think he keeps getting in these “sham relationships?” Duh, cuz we’re in love! There’s seriously no other rational reason! I dare you to think of one! His apartment is close to Uncensored Interview HQ, and he’s buying some cameras at B&H right by my office! What other proof do you need people? A sex tape?
Hmmm, I mean what is a sex tape if not an “Uncensored Interview?”
Anyway, he mentioned to me this afternoon when we woke up that it’s a total thrill for him when people comment on his blog. Maybe then we can give up this whole Jennifer Aniston charade and get married. I mean really, Aniston? Who even buys this?
TOPICS: triumphantlyjenny