Mythical Creatures

Efterklang got ThePerryTrain ‘a wonderin…

I used to feel like finding an indie rocker without a moustache was as unlikely as finding The Chupacabra or Bigfoot.  Yet, in the same week the most convincing evidence of the existence of two of these three unlikely creatures has been discovered.  Some cops down in Cuero, Texas turned on their dashboard cam and got footage of what appears to be a hairless wolf-pig creature, the infamous goat-sucker vampire-dog: The Chupacabra.

Also, some hunters in Georgia claim to have discovered the dead body of Bigfoot and have pictures and DNA evidence to prove it.  I’m sure it’s only a coincidence that these guys run a Bigfoot tour company, the redneck equivalent of an African Safari.

Also, on a not completely unrelated note, my Dad believes that there’s a passage in the Bible that references the existence of aliens.

Now, I’ve heard tales of seeing them in the shadowy corner of a lower east side vegan restaurant.  The story is always the same.  A blur of tight pants, shrouded with a hoodie, quietly curses UniversalMusic while reading the latest Michael Azerrad book.  “I swear I saw him!  There was no hair on his upper lip!  NO HAIR!!!  There was no ironic OR un-ironic moustache!”  But nobody ever has a cameraphone fast enough to catch this creature before they skitter out of sight leaving the observer questioning what they saw, re-living the moment over and over in their head, wondering whether to tell their friends.  “Will they believe me?  They’ll think I’m crazy.  I know what I saw.”

Well, if this evidence of Chupacabras and Sasquatches means anything its that maybe one day these quietly sarcastic creatures will emerge from hiding and show themselves to the world.  Until then it is up to us to decide whether this hairless beast truly exists.