Music Appreciation

The current state of the economy has even the financially educated wondering where to put their hard-earned sheckles. When considering the theory of supply and demand we must recognize there has always been a demand for music. Even those who have tried to give it away for free (Radiohead) have still come out “in the black.” So I present to you ThePerryTrain’s guide to investing in music.

First of all, nobody ever had to default on a sub-prime mortgage when buying Sunny Day Real Estate.

When investing in stocks, look to the commodities market and stick to raw materials. Metals: Led Zeppelin, Iron Maiden, Iron & Wine, Silver Rockets. Precious stones: Neil Diamond, My Brightest Diamond. And sugar: Sugarcubes, Sugarland, The Sugarhill Gang.

The riskier investor might swap the high-risk corporate-debt investment of Junk Bonds for the highly speculative punk bond market. These bonds can be purchased below pop-market value but have been known to produce high yields like the Green Day and Offspring boom of the late 90′s.

Instead of Hedge Funds I say we invest in Straight Edge Funds. These funds would abstain from investing in traditional commodities such as coffee, tobacco, pork bellies and alcohol. Instead they would trade largely in vegetable futures and the cookie market, specifically Gorilla Biscuits.

Diversify in foreign markets: The English Beat, Europe, Brazilian Girls.

Speaking of Brazilian Girls, they are a fan of a certain raw material that also makes a good investment if you were in the farming industry or say, import/exports…

Personally I’m going to stick to the safe investments right now. I’m staying mostly in cold, hard Johnny Cash.