Fatkidslovescake got her first eye infection this week through some inexplicable fluke of nature! Actually, it was probably from falling asleep with my contact lenses in. Please, don’t say it. It is sooo bad for my eyes. Yes, of course it is. But c’mon, it happens every once in a while after a late night out. And who ever thinks that some moderate carelessness will come back to bite them in the proverbial ass? Not I, said the fatkid.
Now, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. Not only am I going to have to sport the perma-tired I-just-rolled-out-of-bed look for two weeks, classified by the puffy eyes, glasses and no make-up, but it is just all around super uncomfortable. The dry eyes, the itching, the burning… Oh! Did I mention I have to show up at a wedding looking like this?
Sure, things could be worse, but sometimes you don’t want to be an adult about things. Sometimes you want to throw yourself a little pity party. That’s right! I think you should be allowed to blow up some balloons, throw a little confetti and do it up proper!
Then, I watched this clip of Ben Taylor. (If you haven’t seen this already folks, you HAVE TO watch it. You couldn’t make up a story like this if you wanted to!)
Suffice it say that I felt pretty damn stupid after this. I’m going to shut up now and see if I can squeeze something spectacular out of my swollen eye…perhaps a tear.
TOPICS: fatkidslovecake