Eat to the Beat: Crazy Backstage Demands

Thank Goddess for rock stars–-they seem to have been manufactured to entertain, delight, thrill and titillate. All too often, this primarily involves their off-stage hijinks,  including their nonsensical requests backstage, much of which involves epic-long entreaties that would make Imelda Marcos blush.

Revealing backstage requests used to be a gruesome form of dumpster diving no respectable journalist would stoop to. Luckily, thesmokinggun.com does the dirty work for us. Below, highlights (and lots of misspellings) from some of the most princess-y backstage food demands.

Shinedown:

“Lamb and duck are welcome, but nothing beats a good ole fried chicken; fresh, not frozen; dinner must be served on real plates, after all, it’s not a picnic; 2 bottles of grape-flavored Pedialite [sic] (guaranteed to cure a hangover, or if we find a sick baby); 1 box of Grape Nuts (yeah, we know its hippy food) [sic]; 2 jars of peanut butter, one low fat organic plan and one crunchy (even days only); 2 cans of original Pringles (once you pop you can’t stop, really. You can’t, seriously).”

Taylor Swift:

“1 Grande ICED Caramel Latte w/ 2 Sweet’N Lows; 1 Grande ICED Americano w/ 2 Sweet’N Lows with soy milk; 1 bottle Welch’s Grape Juice; 1 16 oz. lowfat cottage cheese; 1 stick butter; 1 bag shredded lettuce; 1 pint Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream; 1 small jar dill pickles.”

Foo Fighters:

“Make-your-own-salad-bar: fresh, organic vegetables and an array of all colors and flavors of salad dressing; pasta/Italian food dishes (and by pasta we do not mean spaghetti soup, as your town already has a homeless shelter. We live out of suitcases for goodness sake); Mexican!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; I cannot tell you how many times in catering all over the world, I have seen island after tiny island of chicken boobs floating in a mercury likes sauce that gets pawned off as a thirteen dollar (US) entrée. This is not a diss to lunch rooms and the genus of the tator tot or the surly lunch lady per se. Its [sic] just a thought.”

Lady Gaga:

“4-pack of Redbull [sic] Light (on ice); 12 bottles of still water (room temp); small plate of cheese (non-smelly, non-sweaty) ON ICE and whole wheat/healthy crackers; 1 whole roasted chicken (HOT); 1 small jar jelly; packages of Starfish tuna.”