Patti Smith, the Vaccines, Au Revoir Simone, Chairlift, Graffiti 6, The Submarines and so many more take the stage August 5th-7th. Concertgoers can also check out performance art, experimental theater and traditional Shinnecock arts/crafts (the festival is on the site of Shinnecock Nation Reservation).

Silkstone, the group behind The Fat Radish and Ruschmeyer’s, is organizing much of the deliciousness: Look for fresh seafood from Luke’s Lobster, American BBQ from Brinkley’s, ceviche, hanger steaks and tostadas from Ofrenda, and traditional tacos with homemade guacamole from the soon-to-open Pulqueria.

Sure, the Hamptons isn’t the Lower East Side, but Patti Smith makes it all work.

And that’s not to mention The Beatles half-reunion with Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr held earlier this year as a benefit for the David Lynch Foundation. That’s right, The Beatles gave Lynch the homie hook up. Other performers included Donovan, Sheryl Crow, Eddie Vedder, Moby, Bettye LaVette, Ben Harper and Mike Love of the Beach Boys.

Lynch is multi-talented and widely respected for good reason. Hear a few Uncensored artists spill the beans on their collaborations with and/or crushes on the man himself.

5. Au Revoir Simone played a show Lynch put together in honor of Eraserhead. Sounds like the stage was no ordinary mics-and-monitors set up.

4. Brazilian Girls were inspired by Lynch’s commitment to transcendental meditation. He’s long touted its benefits and has put his money where his mouth is by starting a program to help at-risk youth learn to meditate.

3. Conversely, Metric dig Lynch up until the meditation stuff. They get their cosmic experiences through his film work instead.

2. Great Northern remember what it was like back in the “Twin Peaks” days. If you recognize their name, you’re probably one of the show’s many cult fans.

1. Moby’s latest album, Wait for Me, is both Lynch-inspired and Lynch-assisted. He began creating the album after hearing Lynch speak, and the man would eventually direct the video for “Shot in the Back of the Head.”

Upon meeting, (which may or may not have occurred on a train en route from Vermont to New York, depending whom you ask), the quirky Brooklyn ladies quickly became BFFs, musical partners and generally adorable scenesters. They also happen to churn out synth-heavy dance music that pleases fans of “ethereal wanderings” and wistful Stereolab-like pop. Their song “Through the Backyards” appeared in Grey’s Anatomy, ratcheting up their already swiftly ascending profile.

Au Revoir Simone’s name was inspired by a line from Pee-Wee Herman’s “Big Adventure,” but we doubt their style was. They have long, hippie hair, always seem to be smiling and don Laura-Ingalls-meets-Brigitte-Bardot-in-Paris-for-sips-of-amaretto-spiked-espresso style clothing. The ladies generally evoke the kind of twinkly, footloose, fancy-free vibe only achieved by fans of artisanal, organic cheese and obscure gardening practices.

If all of this is too cute for you, then don’t click below. Their innocent perspective on life and the nefarious omnipresence of Big Brother will make your angina flare up again and set your ulcers afire with impotent rage.

Summer is here and that means one thing: music festivals! This month we’re celebrating everything that makes catching the best bands outdoors a great experience. From excited fans and performance anxiety to making friends and dream lineups, here are a few of our favorite festival moments.

!!! kicked ass at last year’s Pitchfork festival, but Nic purposely avoided reading their review of his performance for fear they rip him apart. As long as the kids are going nuts in the audience, that’s the only thing that matters.

But there are friends to be made at festivals, too. Au Revoir Simone knows how great it is to wander around checking out other musicians, only to end up getting buddy-buddy with the likes of Wilco, Fiery Furnaces and the intimidating Midlake.

Sometimes it’s the fans that show the most love. And skin. Even if it’s not exactly what you envisioned seeing as a rock star.

Speaking of the body, show a little courtesy to your fellow festival-goers. Make sure to slap on some deodorant before throwing your hands in the air like you just don’t care. Trust us, the guy standing next to you does.

And sometimes fans aren’t getting crazy and sweaty in the mosh (and arm) pits. There are plenty of smaller festivals away from huge outdoor stadium acts. The best ones are usually well-guarded secrets.

Finally, Girl Talk looks to the future. His own music fest would include Nirvana, Wolf Eyes, Bone Thugs N Harmony and Juelz Santana. Heart, of course, would destroy. Hey festival curators–keep it in mind!

Whit, my twenty-something co-worker, reached out like an infant with his curious fingers and sampled the texture of the fabric on my dress sleeve. “I wish I could wear one of those. It looks so comfortable.”

“You can,” I replied. “I give you permission to wear a dress.” Walking away I couldn’t help thinking it was interesting that a man wanted the privilege of doing something that I take for granted. He doesn’t want to wear a dress for any latent homosexual reasons or because he has a repressed desire to have sex with his mother or even for fashion reasons, but merely because it seems the more comfortable choice.

Wearing a dress connotes weakness, while the person who “wears the pants” is apparently the person who is in charge. But since historically men were the ones who traditionally “wore the pants,” then how have they overlooked this? Whit couldn’t be the first man to realize that a dress would be the more comfortable option.

When it comes to wearing pants, who “wore the pants” in the pants-wearing decision? Since I can wear a dress or pants at my leisure and for Whit to wear a dress it would be socially unaccepted, then isn’t wearing a dress the more powerful position? Is “wearing the dress” the NEW wearing the pants?

Logistically it actually makes more sense for men to wear skirts since they have all that stuff down there that is just hanging around. Pants are confining the gravity of the male anatomy. And as a woman I feel that pants are a better option since I want to have some sort of safe-guard protecting me against random objects, reptiles or vegetables from accidentally infiltrating the unfortified passageway to my chamber of secrets.

Who’s YOUR indie rock crush? I don’t usually let on a lot about my crushes, for fear they’ll notice my intricately hidden cameras and get a restraining order, but Wes’ admission that he has a chubby for the singer of The Happy Hollows has prodded me to reveal

The Shark’s Top 5 Indie Chicks I’d Like To Bone

1. Lelia Broussard – She’s gorgeous, funny, shakes her ass to Fergalicious and doesn’t hold back about wanting to kick Paris Hilton’s ass. In other words, the total package.
2. Melissa from The OaKs – She’s got that perfect “girl next door/high school best friend you’ve always secretly had a crush on” look, she’s exotic, and she won’t complain when you make her wait 5 hours outside a club to see your favorite band.
3. Heather from Au Revoir Simone – Her love of Sting might mean she’s into tantric sex, or at the very least, having a quickie with me.
4. Yelle – That accent, that accent!!
5. Kelly from The Rosebuds – I’m a sucker for blondes with nice boobs, plus, any chick that has the balls to write a letter to Black Francis or Frank Black or whatever the fuck he’s calling himself nowadays, asking him out for sushi is a-ok in my book.

Honorable mentions go to Emily from The Muggabears and of course, Maggie from Telenovela Star.

How, you ask?

Being the non-judgmental guy that I am, when picking a girl to fall head over heals for I tend to take their fashion sense into consideration. Now, I know you’re thinking something along the lines of “that’s lame.” Well, it may be lame, but I still say the only thing better than a really cute girl is a really cute girl wearing a Radiohead shirt. I guarantee I’m not alone on this one.

Anyways, here’s the part about how indie ruined my love life. Indie has become it’s own fashion movement. I’m not against this, as all music movements spawn their own styles. However, the indie fashion movement left the indie music scene behind sometime around 1998. Back in the day, you knew a girl wearing skinny jeans and a Pixies shirt had good taste in music. Now it just means she shops at Urban Outfitters.

As for me, I now have to actually talk to a girl to figure out what she’s like and what sort of music she enjoys. The humanity!

In the spirit of this post, I now give you my top 3 most indie, would have talked to her before Urban Outfitters came along, Uncensored Interview girls:

3. The Pierces
2. 1/2 of The Rosebuds
1. Au Revoir Simone – Where’s the 3rd member?