Ever since the Pixies got back together, reunions have been in vogue. While The Lonely H connects with mid-aged Led Zeppelin fans about the hopes that the ’70s rock band may one day tour again, perhaps it’s time to compile the possibilities and test the odds about other rock reunions.

The Darkness
NME recently reported The Darkness are looking to get back together. I had no idea the band was broken up or that anyone would even care. Shows what I know sometimes. Though I don’t think I’d be going out on a limb by suggesting the reason for the reunion is due to a massive failure by the lead singer’s solo project, Hot Leg.

Creed
Perhaps the second scariest word in the indie rockers vocabulary (right below “Nickelback”) is Creed. The reports of a reunion seemed inevitable based on Idolator reports earlier this year. However, we may have dodged a bullet on this one, as Creed guitarist Mark Tremonti has no interested in the reunion. Though that didn’t stop Guns N’ Roses…

Guns N’ Roses
Though Chinese Democracy was finally released, does anyone consider this a true Guns N’ Roses reunion? I don’t think so.

Blur
Damon Albarn has been quite successful since Blur broke up (the other members, not so much), and a reunion without Albarn would be meaningless. However, breaking down the traditional reasons for getting back together (aka dismal solo careers), Blur will be reuniting for at least one gig in 2009. Here’s hoping for one or two stateside!

The line between guilty pleasure and just plain good is sometimes difficult to discern. I had a pretty good time laying down a guilty-pleasure-or-not verdict on the top albums of the week a while ago, and now that the top of the Billboard charts have shifted, I thought it was time to weigh in again. Plus, it gives me a chance to comment on the Guns N’ Roses epic failure, Chinese Democracy.

(MORE ARBITER OF COOL HERE)

The Muslims might not realize it right now, but the official death of the music industry is at hand. How do I know this? Because Matty and Brian’s all time favorite band, Guns N’ Roses, will finally be releasing Chinese Democracy on November 23rd. This record had better be fucking good, because production started around the beginning of the Iraq War. THE FIRST IRAQ WAR! That’s over 15 goddamn years in the making! To put that into perspective, Chinese Democracy is OLDER than Miley Cyrus, file sharing, The Tampa Bay Rays, reality TV and the entire Mighty Ducks trilogy.

(READ MORE ABOUT THE MUSICAL APOCALYPSE)

Shout Out Louds bring up a good point: you don’t really have to know how to play an instrument anymore to make, well I won’t say good, but popular music. Look at the crap that’s selling right now: Daughtry, Nickelback, Miley Cyrus, Fall Out Boy – not exactly musical maestros if you ask me. Watching them butcher their respective instruments is like watching an angry bulldog try to eat a Sloppy Joe. Yeah, good luck getting that image out of your head the rest of the day.

But I want to flip things right now and discuss something that doesn’t get as nearly as much attention as it’s earned: Good Musicians That Make Bad Music. I’m talking about virtuosos, prodigies, people who actually know how to play their instruments, and play them well, but can’t write a good song for shit:

• Les Claypool – Probably one of the greatest (and fastest) bass players of all time. Also, one of the worst vocalists and songwriters of all time. For further clarification see: Primus.
• Dragonforce – Amazing instrumentalists. Heart thumping double bass drum mastery, smart keyboards, and holy-fucking-shit-lightning-quick guitar shredding. Too bad their songs are all about swords, flaming dragons, and wizardry. Listening to a Dragonforce album is about as heterosexual as going out to eat with your brother and sharing one milkshake with two straws.
• Slash – Yes, he was in Guns N Roses and Velvet Revolver, and, along with Eddie Van Halen, is one of the most prolific and influential guitarists of the modern rock era, but all of that doesn’t atone for Slash’s Snake Pit