Quite Possibly The Worst News EVER

July 9th, 2008 by theshark

Bad news, it seems like God died this week, because there’s no way He, in all his eternal wisdom, would ever let THIS ever happen on His watch:

Nickelback have become the latest band to sign a deal with Live Nation. The group will join Madonna, U2 and Jay-Z at the organisation, who will handle almost all of the band’s affairs, including global recording, touring and merchandise. The deal, which could be worth as much as $70 million, is for three albums and three tours and will come into effect after Nickelback’s current deal with Road Runner Records expires in two albums’ time.

That’s right folks, Nickelback are going indie. Well, sort of. I still don’t buy these Live Nation 360 bullshit deals as “going indie,” but a lot of people for some reason or another do. So basically the most corporately bland, musically untalented, tear-your-fucking-ears-off-annoying band in the world (they’re from Canada to boot!) will now be considered by most of the music business and fans as “indie.” If you’ll excuse me for one second, there seems to be something stuck in the barrel of my hair-trigger sensitive shotgun, let me have a good look inside.

Indie artists aren’t supposed to be corporate tools with bad fashion sense, terrible haircuts, and one three-chord-riff in their entire musical repertoire. They’re supposed to be intriguing, anti-establishment, musically experimental, and multitalented like Joseph Arthur:

So please excuse me if I seem a little bitter today. A little part of me kind of died inside.