Even the NYPD, a crop of professionals not typically prone to taking a sunny view of human nature, think Aretha Franklin is a woman of legendary, almost mystical powers. But does she use those powers for good or for evil?

Franklin recently illegally parked outside of Pat and Gina Neely’s Neely’s Barbecue Parlor, just as the 5-0 was issuing her a ticket. But Franklin busted out her best bribe and serenaded the meter maid; needless to say, no ticket was issued.

The 69-year-old has pledged to give up chitterlings, pigs’ feet, ham hocks and other soulful food after her surgery this year. Check out her interview with Wendy Williams on giving up hot sauce and how a carrot just doesn’t satisfy.

Style, identity, art, self-expression. Join UI as we Flashion Forward to a magical aesthetic land through which we coquettishly zip about the closets of our fave new interviewees and explore their post-millennial closets to ferret out the physical and psychological baggage they pack their shizzle in.

This week, we’re checking out a recently added interview from our warehouse of clips to try to read between Those Dancing Days’ sartorial lines. The lovely ladies of TDD make our job easy, belly-flopping merrily into the deep end of UI’s style pool to consider the ever-pressing existential question: If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be, and what does that imply about one’s psychological/metaphysical/eschatological identity?

This, of course, is an issue that the young and adorable indie poppers who hail from Nacka, Sweden probably spend their evenings discussing. Clearly brainier than last week’s pop tart sensations, these ladies are more than flash in the pan–though still in high school when they started collecting critical valentines, they managed to produce an album that was a “curiously old-fashioned beast…tailor made for being listened to on vinyl,” simultaneously evoking the great girl groups of the ’60s, new wave and poppy punk fun.

Their style is a similar oddly cohesive mix of influences–’90s era grunge dresses paired with over-sized granny-gans, bad-ass chica cigarette pants and leather and whimsical hippie-punk farm gear.

Exploring different facets of personality and identity is the reason so many of us scamper joyfully to the closet every morning. It’s an opportunity to steep ourselves in a moody habiliment stew that reflects everything from our hormone levels to our desired station in life to the amount of beer we consumed last night.

And who can resist going a few steps further to wonder: If you could pull a freaky Friday switcheroo on someone, who would it be? Below, check out why TDD decided that being Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan for a day would be a lot more fun–and strangely educational–than trying on Obama’s life for size.

What hasn’t Jay-Z done? Well, an alt-country song for one:

Well, now he can add performing at a presidential inaugural to the list of accomplishments. Though one of the songs caught me a bit by surprise: This one! Yeah, that’s right, “99 Problems (But a Bush Ain’t One).” Hey, that’s actually clever and funny. I wonder if a rather humorless Obama got the joke.

Let’s be honest though. It was a fitting adieu and probably to be expected. Most musicians have very few good things to say about George w. Bush or (more aptly) have a lot of bad things to say about him.

There’s been no media uproar this time–remember how Ludacris got Obama in trouble by dissing Hilary Clinton and John McCain? There hasn’t been a peep complaining about Jay-Z’s little dis, but maybe it’s just because it’s actually clever and funny.

Or maybe it’s because Jay-Z speaks the flat out truth here. Really, that one altered line from Jay-Z’s song pretty much says it all. The economy? Two wars? Heck, I could probably come up with 96 other problems for America right now, but you know what isn’t a problem anymore…

Well, well, look who’s back blogging for Uncensored Interview: your favorite foul-mouthed, curmudgeonly sea predator. I apologize for my sudden and totally unexpected hiatus, but it looks like I’ve returned just in time, because there’s a huge, some may even say an historic inauguration occurring, and it just so happens to coincide with the launch of my newest weekly feature for UI, focusing on things that Piss Me Off. And boy, have I got a warehouse full of pristine, organic, made-in-the-USA gripes about the way we indoctrinate elected officials to the highest office in the land.

You might not have known this, but you see, this entire inauguration dog-and-pony show is just a way to distract the American public from all the fucked up shit that the administration’s gonna pull over the next four years. A real, honorable man doesn’t need expensive bullshit theatrics and over-the-top symbolism to kickstart his new career. He just needs a few shots of JD and maybe a toothless hooker or two. The entire affair should cost no more than $217 and carry a very good chance of someone contracting HPV.

Look at me, I’m ranting already and I haven’t even gotten past the intro yet. You know this is gonna be a bloody entry:

The Shark Presents:

The Top Three Things That Have Pissed Me Off About Recent Presidential Inaugurations

3. Rick Warren Delivering Obama’s Invocation – This hasn’t even happened yet and already it’s pissing me off. Look, I like Obama as much as the next guy, but this is a dubious start to what was supposed to be the Jesus Christ of presidencies (minus the whole crucifixion thing). You’re going to tell me Obama had NO IDEA his choice of an anti-gay, pro-life, right-wing pastor to deliver the invocation would be met with the kind of backlash it has? Bullshit! This guy was riding a wave of positive momentum unseen in this country since John F. Kennedy was elected. He could have picked a goddamn juggling bear cub on a circus ball to urinate all over Joe Biden and no one would have batted an eye. But Rick Warren? What the hell is going on in your head, Barack?

Whether you voted for him or not, you can’t help feel tingly all over about January 20^th 2009 when Barack Obama is sworn is as the 44^th (and, more importantly, first black) President of the United States. The entire world will be watching as we say BYE BYE BUSH and HELLOBAMA. (Or at least our Interviewees, will, as evidenced below.)

There will be a celebration across the nation, and there’s no better way to commemorate while we inaugurate than by giving you our list of the 10 bands we wish, in a perfect world, were kicking off Obama’s presidency at the kickoff.

As we get closer to the Presidential inauguration, a little thought sparked in my brain. If we vote for President, shouldn’t we also get to vote for the inaugural performers? I mean, we still might end up with the Ricky Martins and Fleetwood Macs of the world, but, heck, at least we VOTED them into that performance. We can sit and whine about how lame the acts are (assuming we took the time to vote for acts–those that don’t vote aren’t allowed to complain).

Now, I’m sure there will be those who argue that performers at the inauguration are appointed, not elected. This is valid enough, but think about the confirmation hearings and cabinet appointments Supreme Court justices go through! Sure, Obama would have the benefit of a Democratic Congress, but I still wager that a Ludacris performance would be filibustered so fast it’d make America’s collective head spin.

Oh, and my vote for a band to perform at the 2008 Inaugural? AIDS Wolf. Nothing says America more than a bunch of noisy punks from Montreal!

Today I am filled with hope as a new day dawns in America. Okay, yeah, I’m being overly dramatic. Yes, I am happy and inspired that Barack Obama will be our next President (though maybe not as happy as Yo Majesty).

However, Obama’s victory was not the only thing that gave me hope and pride in America.

The non-stop news coverage meant that each network had a lot of time to kill between polls closing and results coming in, which meant they had to fill that time with inane analysis, shots of Chicago and Phoenix and tons of high-tech toys, the latter providing for some of the most entertaining moments of the night.

(READ MORE AUDACITY OF HOLOGRAMS HERE)