Franklin recently illegally parked outside of Pat and Gina Neely’s Neely’s Barbecue Parlor, just as the 5-0 was issuing her a ticket. But Franklin busted out her best bribe and serenaded the meter maid; needless to say, no ticket was issued.

The 69-year-old has pledged to give up chitterlings, pigs’ feet, ham hocks and other soulful food after her surgery this year. Check out her interview with Wendy Williams on giving up hot sauce and how a carrot just doesn’t satisfy.

This week, we’re checking out a recently added interview from our warehouse of clips to try to read between Those Dancing Days’ sartorial lines. The lovely ladies of TDD make our job easy, belly-flopping merrily into the deep end of UI’s style pool to consider the ever-pressing existential question: If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be, and what does that imply about one’s psychological/metaphysical/eschatological identity?

This, of course, is an issue that the young and adorable indie poppers who hail from Nacka, Sweden probably spend their evenings discussing. Clearly brainier than last week’s pop tart sensations, these ladies are more than flash in the pan–though still in high school when they started collecting critical valentines, they managed to produce an album that was a “curiously old-fashioned beast…tailor made for being listened to on vinyl,” simultaneously evoking the great girl groups of the ’60s, new wave and poppy punk fun.

Their style is a similar oddly cohesive mix of influences–’90s era grunge dresses paired with over-sized granny-gans, bad-ass chica cigarette pants and leather and whimsical hippie-punk farm gear.

Exploring different facets of personality and identity is the reason so many of us scamper joyfully to the closet every morning. It’s an opportunity to steep ourselves in a moody habiliment stew that reflects everything from our hormone levels to our desired station in life to the amount of beer we consumed last night.

And who can resist going a few steps further to wonder: If you could pull a freaky Friday switcheroo on someone, who would it be? Below, check out why TDD decided that being Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan for a day would be a lot more fun–and strangely educational–than trying on Obama’s life for size.

Well, now he can add performing at a presidential inaugural to the list of accomplishments. Though one of the songs caught me a bit by surprise: This one! Yeah, that’s right, “99 Problems (But a Bush Ain’t One).” Hey, that’s actually clever and funny. I wonder if a rather humorless Obama got the joke.

Let’s be honest though. It was a fitting adieu and probably to be expected. Most musicians have very few good things to say about George w. Bush or (more aptly) have a lot of bad things to say about him.

There’s been no media uproar this time–remember how Ludacris got Obama in trouble by dissing Hilary Clinton and John McCain? There hasn’t been a peep complaining about Jay-Z’s little dis, but maybe it’s just because it’s actually clever and funny.

Or maybe it’s because Jay-Z speaks the flat out truth here. Really, that one altered line from Jay-Z’s song pretty much says it all. The economy? Two wars? Heck, I could probably come up with 96 other problems for America right now, but you know what isn’t a problem anymore…

You might not have known this, but you see, this entire inauguration dog-and-pony show is just a way to distract the American public from all the fucked up shit that the administration’s gonna pull over the next four years. A real, honorable man doesn’t need expensive bullshit theatrics and over-the-top symbolism to kickstart his new career. He just needs a few shots of JD and maybe a toothless hooker or two. The entire affair should cost no more than $217 and carry a very good chance of someone contracting HPV.

Look at me, I’m ranting already and I haven’t even gotten past the intro yet. You know this is gonna be a bloody entry:

The Shark Presents:

The Top Three Things That Have Pissed Me Off About Recent Presidential Inaugurations

3. Rick Warren Delivering Obama’s Invocation – This hasn’t even happened yet and already it’s pissing me off. Look, I like Obama as much as the next guy, but this is a dubious start to what was supposed to be the Jesus Christ of presidencies (minus the whole crucifixion thing). You’re going to tell me Obama had NO IDEA his choice of an anti-gay, pro-life, right-wing pastor to deliver the invocation would be met with the kind of backlash it has? Bullshit! This guy was riding a wave of positive momentum unseen in this country since John F. Kennedy was elected. He could have picked a goddamn juggling bear cub on a circus ball to urinate all over Joe Biden and no one would have batted an eye. But Rick Warren? What the hell is going on in your head, Barack?

2. Ricky Martin Performs at George W. Bush’s First Inauguration – George W. Bush has made some pretty terrible decisions during his eight years in office, but forcing America to watch washed up one-hit wonder Ricky Martin shake his bon bon all over the Presidential stage ranks up there with illegally going to war with Iraq as one of his real doozies. Was Bush REALLY that out of touch with America already? Remember, this was 2001, Ricky Martin had come and gone several years before that. He was about as popular as the bird flu, or to put things into a modern perspective, as our departing President. What, was Lou Bega not available? The “Macarena” boys had trouble with their passports? Why not have just gone the whole nine yards and staged a full Menudo reunion right there at your inauguration?

1. Funky Bill Clinton Hires Unfunky Fleetwood Mac To Perform At His Ball – Bill Clinton wasn’t your ordinary white Capitol Hill bullshit churning machine, as he proved on the Arsenio Hall Show. This motherfucker had chops. He was as close to a black president as we would come for almost a decade (in fact some would say he’s half as black as Barack Obama). So how does he celebrate his sweeping victory, which came no small thanks to record numbers of black voters? By hiring the most white-bread, neutered, irrelevant band he could think of: Fleetwood Mac:

And as a bonus, legendary pedophile and former African American-turned-storybook monster Michael Jackson shows up at the end just for kicks. Man, if having Mick Fleetwood and the guy who molested the kid from Home Alone usher in your presidency doesn’t spell hope, I don’t know what does.

There will be a celebration across the nation, and there’s no better way to commemorate while we inaugurate than by giving you our list of the 10 bands we wish, in a perfect world, were kicking off Obama’s presidency at the kickoff.

Now, I’m sure there will be those who argue that performers at the inauguration are appointed, not elected. This is valid enough, but think about the confirmation hearings and cabinet appointments Supreme Court justices go through! Sure, Obama would have the benefit of a Democratic Congress, but I still wager that a Ludacris performance would be filibustered so fast it’d make America’s collective head spin.

Oh, and my vote for a band to perform at the 2008 Inaugural? AIDS Wolf. Nothing says America more than a bunch of noisy punks from Montreal!

However, Obama’s victory was not the only thing that gave me hope and pride in America.

The non-stop news coverage meant that each network had a lot of time to kill between polls closing and results coming in, which meant they had to fill that time with inane analysis, shots of Chicago and Phoenix and tons of high-tech toys, the latter providing for some of the most entertaining moments of the night.

CNN took the technology lead on TV. I was impressed with the 3D images of the Capitol building and the giant vote tabulator which seemed to act like a giant iPod. But the moment of the night was when they brought in Will.I.Am VIA HOLOGRAM!

Yes, that’s right, all that technology we saw in Star Wars is finally coming to fruition. They probably could have interviewed him on a split screen or whatever else they used for other commentators that night, but, no, for some reason a hologram was a way to go. Though Will.I.Am and Anderson Cooper both laughed at the technology, it’s clear that this is a new step forward for America and the news reporting networks. A new day IS dawning in America: a day of holograms!

Say what you will about the six pillars of character (trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship), but nothing explains who you are like shoes and music. Well, I have to tell you that recently Barack Obama revealed that he prefers The Stones to The Beatles. No friggin’ way man!

What’s more American than the Beatles? I mean, besides the fact that they’re British, but still. Obama just stepped into some dangerous territory here. As far as I’m concerned he may as well have just said he hates apple pie.

Maybe it was the most patriotic answer he could give based on the fact that if you count Chicago-born Daryl Jones (who technically isn’t a member but took over bass duties from Wyman in ’94), then I guess The Stones are more American than The Beatles. But, according to the RIAA The Beatles have sold more albums in the USA than any other band. Americans love the Beatles.

I don’t know what type of relationship Irving had with Barack or if they’re gonna have to break up with Obama but I’m certainly going to need a little time to think things over. I just kinda feel like that sort of info should come out on a first date. OK, B.O. I think I can get over this, but you just better not like Bathing Apes. All I’m sayin…

Left-leaning politics and music, particularly of the indie variety, aren’t exactly strangers (see above). In another recent post here theshark claimed that the indie crowd are a lot like New Yorkers, Democratic to the core. However, the candidates’ passing over of this demographic is often not so much to do with their reliable affiliation, but rather due to their apathy: Young people are the most likely to stay away from the polls.

There have been political groups that have tried in the past and even met some success. Rock the Vote claims that in 2004, the youth vote (ages 18-24) saw a higher increase in turnout than any other age group. But because the organization has clear links to MTV, it’s hard to classify Rock the Vote as “indie,” and the organization is non-partisan, which means that it’s still not one of the candidates’ camps reaching out to voters.

After my post about LA bands last week, I found out that maybe the indie community was starting to wise up and make some noise about politics and that noise sounds sort of like random dissonant tones in a non-rhythmic pattern.

I was first tipped off to “Noise for Obama“ by Brian Miller from Foot Village. No surprise there, as he started the site along with Brian Chippendale from Lightning Bolt/Black Pus. I probably would’ve forgotten about it had I not seen the website later that night again via one of the ticket-takers at New York’s Knitting Factory.

Thanks to the internet, in less than a day “Noise for Obama” spread over 3,000 miles through old friends and fiber optic cables. Already containing quotes supporting Obama from members of bands like Russian Circles, Lightning Bolt, Deerhoof and more, it’s clear that artists aren’t afraid to speak out for a candidate in this election.

Knowing that a politician can’t be everywhere, these bands could easily act as unofficial surrogates as they travel around the country on tour in the days leading up to the election. Even though the Obama campaign is not involved, he probably appreciates the help to rally his base.

Sadly, I couldn’t seem to find anyone making noise for McCain.

The explosion of the “indie movement” (whatever the fuck that may actually mean) in recent years signals a significant change in the direction that the music industry is taking – less major labels, more DIY. You’d think that a smart, ambitious candidate would notice this and try to take advantage of the ever-growing number of impressionable, voting-age indie music fans and scenesters. But no, not even youth demi-god Barack Obama has attempted to reach out to this overlooked, under-appreciated vein of potential voting gold, instead preferring to pander to mainstream music fans and buddy up with major label acts like Bon Jovi. I guess he’s hoping to lock up that coveted “32- to 50-year-old New Jerseyan with bad music taste” demographic. What’s even more troubling is 99 percent of the major rock acts politicians pander to are so out of touch with the political wants and needs of their average fan, it makes their support seem egotistical and selfish. Do you think Richie Sambora really cares about universal health care?

Indie bands, on the other hand, are way more in touch with the realities of everyday, middle class, blue collar life. Take A Place To Bury Strangers, for example:

But war and health care aren’t the only issues pertinent to the indie crowd. Believe it or not, not all of us are left-leaning, flag-burning, America-hating liberals as Fox News would have you believe. In fact, patriotism is a big deal to us. Indie bands just see things a bit differently. Remember the whole “Obama-flag-pin-patriotism fiasco?” Well thanks to Times New Viking, we now also have the “McCain-touchdown flap”:

Now I’m being realistic here. I don’t expect Obama or McCain to be making a surprise appearance at Pianos or The Music Hall of Williamsburg anytime soon, and I don’t expect anyone from their campaign to be reading this (probably because our blog and website are too hip for the politico crowd). But I do hope this inspires at least one or two people to go out and get our voice heard. Let the candidates know we are tired of being ignored, and we want some good campaign music to boot. Seriously, how cool would it be to see McCain or Obama come out to The Hold Steady?