Apologies if this blog is both short and slightly unintelligible, but yours truly, the Shark, is in full recovery mode after partying with the out of control Uncensored Interview crew at their first annual Holiday Party at LOCATION NAME WITHHELD TO PREVENT POTENTIAL LAWSUIT FOR DAMAGES RENDERED TO ESTABLISHMENT in New York City. I know what you’re thinking, January 5th? Ain’t that a bit late for a holiday party? In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re a bit unconventional here at UI. Three words, people: Three. Kings. Day. a holiday invented back in the 30′s to commemorate both the end of Christmas season, and the start of pregaming for Martin Luther King Day. Instead of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, we came bearing the much easier to acquire, (and spell) Beer, Bourbon, and Sexual Advance Drunkenly Made on a Coworker Resulting in a Restraining Order and/or Deportation.
Now I know we constantly tout how “uncensored” and “unrestrained” we are on our website, but let me tell you, last night took things to a whole new level. Some of us woke up in another state this morning, and at least two of our interns are still missing . I got a postcard around noon today, and apparently, our beloved lawyer Kathleen is now a fully naturalized citizen of Mexico. And don’t even ask me what I did last night. After about the 6th or 7th glass of Knob Creek, I completely blanked out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in an alley with a shiny new prison tattoo, next to what appeared to be a cleanly sliced hand, which I of course high fived. Hey, don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same. By the way, if anyone knows exactly what “Rectal de Bandidos” translates to in English, my arm would greatly appreciate it. Anyway, I managed to find and upload a few pics from the now infamous Uncensored Interview Three King’s Party 2008 for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to jump on the UI bandwagon and throw your own Three King’s Day Party. In fact, why not head on over to UncensoredInterview.com, check out some extremely opinionated clips from your favorite indie rock artists, and then let us know via V-Sponse what you really thought of our party, and if possible, the location of our interns.
Darryl and Stab Wound from the local penitentiary show one of our UI staffers a bar trick they learned up in Sing-Sing.
Kevin showing off his “flaming Malibu” trick. Next up, the “flaming ceiling, walls, and deli next door” trick. Woah guys, look out!!!
I thought this was America!
TOPICS: theshark