Everyone says that radio sucks these days. In fact, people have been saying it for at least a decade. I had fond memories of listening to the radio growing up, but I was also listening to one of the coolest commercial radio stations at the time, WFNX in Boston. But even that holy grail of radio seemed dim on my last visit to the Bay State. This weekend I had the opportunity to travel down the east coast to check out some local radio, and I thought I’d share some lessons I have learned.

Someone covered “Lollipop.”
Yes, a “modern rock” band called Framing Hanley band covered a Lil Wayne song. You can listen to it over at their MySpace page–actually watch the Youtube video there for the “full version.”

311 is now “Classic Rock.”
Yep, I heard “Down” back to back with the Rolling Stones. Apparently, the Toadies are also in that genre now as well.

M.I.A. gets no props for T.I.’s “Swagga.”
Before the title came up on the radio dial, I actually thought this was T.I.’s bizarre M.I.A. remix. The song is officially titled “Swagga Like Us (feat. Jay-Z, Kanye West and Lil’ Wayne)” with no mention of M.I.A.

Casey Kasem is still alive!
And apparently when the holidays roll around, he counts down the top Christmas songs…still! Though I don’t think the “top” songs on the list have changed since I was a kid. Quite sad as they do need to sneak “Christmas in Hollis” somewhere onto the list.

Everything is filtered through Auto-Tune.
Not just the obvious stuff like Kanye West and Lil Wayne, but even listening to rock radio you can hear the weird noise that often happens when Auto-Tune is used. It’s not nearly as obvious, but it’s there.

Oh, yeah, and…
People DO, in fact, like Nickelback.

The line between guilty pleasure and just plain good is sometimes difficult to discern. I had a pretty good time laying down a guilty-pleasure-or-not verdict on the top albums of the week a while ago, and now that the top of the Billboard charts have shifted, I thought it was time to weigh in again. Plus, it gives me a chance to comment on the Guns N’ Roses epic failure, Chinese Democracy.

(MORE ARBITER OF COOL HERE)

The current state of the economy has even the financially educated wondering where to put their hard-earned sheckles. When considering the theory of supply and demand we must recognize there has always been a demand for music. Even those who have tried to give it away for free (Radiohead) have still come out “in the black.” So I present to you ThePerryTrain’s guide to investing in music.

First of all, nobody ever had to default on a sub-prime mortgage when buying Sunny Day Real Estate.

(Read on for more tips)

Oh Davey, if only it were so simple! You can try to keep all the “bridge and tunnel” assholes out of the city, but what about the ones who are already in New York? Then what do you do? What do you do?

I actually think this rant speaks to a larger sociological phenomenon. Remember the old idiom “birds of a feather flock together”? (Translation: Like minded people tend to find one another). If you’re wondering what exactly I’m referring to, I’ll give you a real-world example. Take a look at the people around you in the office. Do you often find yourself a witness to ridiculous displays of self-aggrandizement and bombast by your co-workers? They’re the kind of people who are always reaffirming one another. “You’re the man!” “No, you’re the man!” or “You’re awesome!” “No, you’re awesome.” Observe carefully how they seem to feed off of one another*. And maybe they are not saying it so many words, but you know it’s always in the subtext of the conversations.

This is probably the moment you have that revelation: “Good god. This is the place where tools come to die.” Click here for an overview on tools.

Now what have we learned about tools so far? We learned that they come in all shapes and sizes, in any race or gender. But now we can delve into the fascinating world of behavioral patterns, and we can also observe how tool-dom so often flirts with the line of asshole-dom.

If any of these apply to you, you might be one of those assholes at the office:

• If you could, you would wear the letters MBA or JD like your high school letterman jacket or tattoo them on your arm like your fraternity’s Greek letters.
• You think that your graduate degree makes you better than others, and you let it be known.
• You use phrases like “hey guy” and give people the wink and the gun.

If you do any of the above because that’s just what your friends do, then you’re probably a tool, too. Ah, such a delicate distinction.

There must be studies on this type of stuff somewhere, so if anyone knows of any, I’d be incredibly happy to know that my hypothesis has been validated.

All I have to say is thank goodness we’re indie. There is nary a tool to be found in the UI offices. And though the asses out there tend to gravitate towards one another, it’s nice to know that the opposite holds true as well and that you can just as often find the clusters of dope folks out there. Thanks mom. Now I know why you were so concerned about who I was hanging out with while I was growing up.

*Other examples organisms that might feed off one another: parasites, diseases and certain animals with cannibalistic tendencies.

Urban outfitters and popular haircuts have ruined my life.

I used to be able to pick out the cool gals by the way they dressed, but ever since being “indie” became mainstream, it’s impossible to pick them out anymore.

I now find myself going for the more mainstream looking girls. Mainstream is the new indie.

And with that, I present to you 2 girls I find to be muy cute (where is the 3rd hiding?):

I hear David Byrne digs’em too….in a musical way, that is.

Go Au Revoir Simone!

Backline, and Why Do All Of My Bathroom Appliances Fucking Vibrate??
Current mood: crazy

In between putting off my final grad school paper, downloading a leaked copy of the new Rivers Cuomo solo record, and watching the NY Giants suck shit on national TV to the pitiful Washington Redskins this weekend, I’ve been on Uncensored Interview all weekend. Mostly trying to hack into the site to change my pay rate, but also to check out some of the new clips that we just put up for your viewing pleasure, like this little ditty from Backline about pot, and um, spirituality, and um… ah who gives a shit, it’s got a fat kid talking about rolling himself down a hill. If that doesn’t make you wanna watch it, I give up:

Now how could UI possibly top that, I thought to myself? Surely, that was the cream of the new clip crop, right? WRONG. This band I’d previously never heard of (but now respect with almighty authority) called The Gay Blades came out of left field and basically fellated my ear drums with this diatribe about something near and dear to my heart: complete and utter hatred of the shittiest band in the world not named Bon Jovi, Nickleback.

The fact that these guys wore kerchiefs to hide their faces throughout our entire interview with them should tell you something – either they’re still scared of contracting Sars, or some shit’s gonna come of their mouths that’s not too P.C., and might offend a lot of people (although if you’re a regular reader of this blog, chances are, it takes a LOT to offend you). I’m telling you, these guys are a little eccentric even for our site. Just check out this clip of the Gay Blades doing the unspeakable – BREAKING THE 4TH WALL!!!

But that’s just a taste, so make sure you check out Uncensored Interview this week for more crazy ass shit, and let us know what you think via comment or V-Sponse. Anyway, on to my normal weekly rant.

Since when was it required that all of my bathroom products now vibrate? Was there a town meeting that I missed, where we voted to add a vibrating feature to toothbrushes, razors, back scrubbers, and condoms? Don’t get me wrong, for the first few days I really enjoyed experiencing what it’s like to be Michael J. Fox in the morning, but the daily barrage of nicks, cuts, and bleeding gums got to me after a while.
I’ll concede that a vibrating toothbrush was at least a good idea in theory. However, the execution has been shitty. Take a look at my Oral B Pulsar in “action”:
Shitty vibrating toothbrush

Add to My Profile | More VideosHalf of the fucking bristles don’t even move, they just sit there while the other 3 bristles make a pathetic and downright embarrassing attempt at keeping my teeth clean, which apparently involves flinging gobs of toothpaste onto my shirt, the mirror above the sink, and the rim of my toilet. Great for warding off home invaders who might be allergic to fluoride, not so great for warding off cavities .But no other personal hygene device screams “I don’t need to be vibrating” quite like a Gillette razor. Why? BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING RAZOR!! THAT SHAKES!! How did this pass quality control at Gillette? This had to be an April Fool’s joke that got way out of hand, because no matter how damn hard you try, there is no way anyone, and I mean ANYONE can make a solid argument for why the ultra sharp object you use to delicately remove hair from your body should in any way, shape or form SHAKE! Go ahead, try to formulate one positive advantage that a vibrating razor has over a stationary one. Kids can’t even kill themselves with it because it shakes so goddamn much. And there’s not just one blade on there, there’s FIVE! Five moving blades of death! Their next model might as well just be a spinning pizza cutter with a greased up handle.

Hey Everyone. Aaron here. Just joined on to the UI team and wanted to share a couple of my favorite bands (and their interviews) with you.

Given that I’m from LA, I have to mention the band Irving. We interviewed them a while back and based on this clip, it seems that they know, like, ALL of my favorite bands:

We’ve got a bunch of other clips of ‘em as well. If you’re into Earlimart, Grandaddy or any of those LA/ Cali bands, I’d check these guys out!

The other band clips I want to share with you today come from The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players. I’ve seen them play at Largo (anyone a Largo goer? Jon Brion fans?), and loved them.

Apparently they are on quite the anti Whole Foods kick:

Thats about it for today. I just wanted to say hello. Please feel free to message me with any comments or questions you might have.

Later,
Aaron